Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Why I Cried at Rudy Luther's Westside Volkswagen

The nice woman from our agency and I finally connected the other day and had a good chat. I hoped if I kept her on the phone long enough, distracting her with my charm and wit, she might let something slip about our referral.
No such luck. It's sad that I've resorted to trickery, is it not?
Anyhoo, she was able to make me feel better without telling me anything new. Hearing her say things like "Try to keep yourself busy" in a calm and soothing voice felt helpful and comforting. This is a real talent and I hope she gets paid accordingly, she sincerely deserves it.

See, I was all a tither because we hadn't heard anything new in a really long time until one day, the message on our agency's weekly hotline was changed to say that referral batches would now be coming at the beginning of each month instead of at the end, as they had been. This was due to the CCAA having moved to a new building and resulting delay. Well, the very next batch of referrals showed up at the end of the month, NOT at the beginning per the new info. I suspect ya'll are reading that and saying to yourselves, "So?" - and I'm telling you, when the only bit of new information we received in months turned out to be WRONG...well it was, quite frankly, upsetting. In addition, the referral batch only covered a handful of LIDs (see below), July 14 - July 22. At that rate, we'll be getting an invitation to join the AARP in the mail before we see a package from China.
We are November 21, people!
I was so frustrated I had to call our agency right away for some answers 'cuz that usually works so well. As I sat waiting for my Jetta to have her oil changed, I could feel a melt-down coming and I didn't want to be all weepy and gross on the phone. Rumaging through my purse, I scrounged up the change for M & M's (peanut, although plain are underrated).
**Ever wonder if you are stress eating because you think that's what women are supposed to do when they are upset. I never used to stress eat but lately when I don't know how to cope, I hear a voice in my head shouting "We eat when we are stressed, lady! Get with the program!"
Note to self - don't pass on food issues to daughter.**
Anyway, I digress.
So I slump over to the vending machine for my M & M's, barely holding it together in front of the other VW owners (a nice looking bunch, by the way) and...can you see where this is going? I put my money in and the little coil thingy that turns to allow the inviting yellow package to fall into the retrieval bin, only turns 3/4 of the way necessary and my friends are trapped, dangling 1/2 on and 1/2 off the shelf.
This did not help with the being upset.
I march over to the CUSTOMER SERVICE counter and wait for the next available clerk, with...tears in my eyes. I know, you can't believe the drama! You will also not believe it when I tell you what I saw on the clerk's desk. A FAMILY SIZE bag of peanut M & M's. I'm not kidding. This woman was a friend of the M & M's and a friend of mine, I could see that. I was barely able to explain what happened through my tears when she grabbed her bag and pushed it over to me. "You can have some of mine," she said in an incredibly understanding tone. Under usual circumstances, I would have declined, but I was beside myself.
**Pause...How nice was that lady to let a soggy, sobbing, complete stanger stick a paw in her bag o' snacks? Ever hear of Minnesota Nice? Alive and well.**
The best part of this whole encounter is still to come. When I tried my luck at the vending machine with my refunded change, I got TWO bags. Mr. Dangly, from before, and his brother Uncle BOGO (that's Buy One, Get One for the non-shoppers in the group).
DEE-LIGHTED.
Don't think I didn't take that second bag back over to MN Nice M&M VW Lady, 'cuz I did. Don't just pay it forward, I say. Pay it back, too. I handed it to her and said "Two bags dropped. Now you have a bag for later."
She was pleased, I was pleased and those M & M's were some of the best I'd tasted. Real fresh. Bolstered by the chocolate, the resulting caffeine, and the feel-good interaction I had with VW lady, I called my agency and left a message. I was able to make it through the whole thing without crying. Well, until the very end when I started going on about how the uncertainty with this wait is so difficult to deal with and if we could just know if would 4 months or 12 months...

Agency lady called me back, was so nice, made me feel better and more importantly helped me see I needed to make a decision. I could either stay on the path I was on called "Drive yourself so insane that you end up crying at Rudy Luther's Westside Volkswagen" or I could choose a new path. I chose a new path and it's called "Do something productive while you wait for a photo of your beloved child". That path is serving me well so far and Stewart/I begin a basic Mandarin class on October 2nd. Wish us luck, we hear it's very challenging, but we're excited!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heather, you absolutely crack me up! I Sooooo know you and love you SOOOO much! I am glad there is "minnesota nice" around you! You should be immersed in it!!!!! I still think you should have kept the secong bag of M&M's!!!!!!

Hang in there kiddo, and learn some new funky words to teach me, ok? Cuz all i can say in Deutsch is "ja, das fach hat zie am liebsten!" :|

Anonymous said...

Heath - I'll never understand how you can make others laugh at such a stressful time for you and Stew! Hey, I'm thinking the 2 bags of M&M's must mean twin girls are on the way! (Or, considering they were peanut M&M's....) Love you!

Anonymous said...

Heather, Oh you cracked me up as I was with you in that VW waiting room. What a wonderful descriptive writer you are. Enough of the teacher evaluation. You and Stew are going to make it through this long wait. I feel very good about it and know this little girl is going to be a very lucky little doll to have you two as her parents! All my best from "iowa nice". Love you three!

Anonymous said...

I know your sense of humor and optimism will see you through this, but I've got neither and don't want you to have to wait anymore!

I'm going to Charminize the embassy and see if that gets things moving.

Seriously.

I mean it.

P.S. Candy.... new name possibility? (not Crackers, but close enough).

Anonymous said...

Meltdowns run in our family but so do big hips. :o) It's all relative ::wink:: You're doing great Heather. Hang in there.

Love ya, your cheesy cuz in VA

the herbivores said...

Ni Hao! Good luck with Mandarin. Emily & I took it for 9 months every Saturday morning and it REALLY helped, to pass the time that is, Sadie ended up speaking some local dialect no one can understand even in China.

Your story of the M&Ms made us laugh out loud!

Anonymous said...

Hi! Joe just asked me how you guys were doing. I realized that I didn't know so I thought I'd check your blog. Yes, I've been there too. It's all such a roller coaster. When you finally get her, the pain of the wait will truly melt away. I initially thought it was a load of crap when people told me that but it really is true. In fact, now that I can't even go to the bathroom without someone having a screaming fit, I do sometimes miss my old carefree days. (I hardly knew how carefree I was to be able to spend time in the bathroom with reckless abandon.) We do plan to make it to an adoptive families event but we're on a tight schedule that revolves around keeping Jia happy: well-fed, well-rested and in the car for minimal periods of time! If you're interested in meeting our little kiddo some weekend or after work just let me know! It would be fun to catch up.